I grew up with a step-dad as a chef so you'd think that I would have learnt that it is not a great job to have if you have a family. Chefs rarely get to spend time with their family, friends & partner & their job is most definitely not easy! Throw a child into the mix and it makes it an EXTREMELY difficult relationship to be in. Sometimes I do feel like a single parent, but living in a tourist hotspot that is FULL of restaurants and eateries, means that there are also so many other wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands who are in exactly the same boat. So here it is 25 FACTS ABOUT DATING A CHEF:
Although this list comes across as quite negative I know that Jamie LOVES his job & I love that he's found something he is passionate about. It's so rare to find a career that you adore. I also know that he loves us just as much but his job & tries to spend as much time with us as he can, but his job is his passion as well as our livelihood. I'd rather him be disappearing for 80 hours a week to do something he enjoys rather than be in a profession that he can't stand.
Last summer, Jamie was working A LOT of hours. While we were waiting for him to finish one day, Evie & I were wondering around St. Ives & went past a really cute little shop called 'The Wonderful Bear Factory'. Here you can create your own bear & dress it up however you'd like. I thought it would be really fun to make one with Evie & was made up when we saw that they had chef whites in the window. We made her this cute little chef dog & she absolutely LOVES it to pieces. He always sits by her bed at night to protect her & she always waves to him & cuddles him as she goes past. So cute!
We're hoping that when she gets older, if she's missing her daddy, that the dog will be a really nice cuddly reminder of him. There are times when I'm so worried about just how much he is missing out on as Evie is growing up so fast. But Evie loves to FaceTime him if he does get a break & I know they'll always have such an unbreakable bond.
Are you a chef or in a relationship with a chef? What do you think of this list? Is there anything you'd add to it or takeaway?
As someone who had a career in hospitality I can affirm this is all so true! Luckily my OH used to work in hospitality so we are both very undetstanding - however hospitality is so incompatible with family that I gave up work. I loved it though, it's an industry of passion and commitment so it's either 100% or nothing and you meet so many people with so much passion.
ReplyDeleteOH now works in AV and my list for dating a 'soundy' would be similar to your chef one. So I feel your pain, but just think how cool your LO will feel when her Daddy whips up some awesome food for her friends and they go home to tell their parents how much better her Daddy is! Lol x
I worked in hospitality for years before I went on maternity leave. I think it's the only reason I am so patient & understanding with Jamie's work. But you're right, it is so incompatible with family. All of the chefs & waiting staff he works with that have their own families also find it so hard. But it is definitely an industry run on passion & adrenaline. He loves his job, it's the only reason I'm not begging him to leave & spend more time with us.
DeleteShe is already pretty spoilt with his home cooked purees. He begs me to let him make her batches of food every month so he feels like he's contributing to her. They are so delicious it's hard not to have a spoon or two myself!
I hope you & your OH get to find that family/work balance soon too! They grow up so fast it's so horrible that they're missing out on all the good bits!
xx
Oh I have one at home. Currently expecting my first child. I'm fully geared up for the fact it will be difficult and MORE because James has the business to work out, I've done lots of pre-prep but it is difficult, mainly due to other people being unable to understand how it works. I've had lots of well meaning 'oh he will change once the baby arrives'.. ha ha. people will still want to dine out on friday saturday nights. We do joke that the baby needs to come late sunday early monday morning as we are fully booked for weddings in the summer :) x
ReplyDeleteHaha oh no! Hopefully it's a monday morning arrival! I don't think people can every really understand unless they're in the same industry. They really won't get why he has to go for so long. So many people said to me 'oh he will change once the baby arrives' but the nature of the job will never allow it. I'm not going to lie, I did go through a phase of feeling bitter & resentful when he was missing out on so many milestones. It took me ages to stop & think that I had known way before Evie was born, that that's what his job entailed. Unluckily for us, Evie was born two weeks before the Easter holidays last year. His two week paternity leave ended the first day of the Easter holidays. I thought he'd get some leeway but he did two 80 hour weeks back to back. It was so awful being alone with a new baby when you had expectations of being part of a close knit family & even worse having him coming home tired & technically needing more sleep than me because he's around sharp objects & fire all day. But you really do get used to it & it has gotten so much easier as Evie's gotten older. If you live in a seasonal place like us you won't be able to wait for winter when you can spend more time as a family! :-) The bonus is, when they do have days off, they're on quiet days so you can usually go out & not be surrounded by tons of people! :-) I hope your baby doesn't come during the prep for a wedding! That would not be fun! :-) xx
DeleteMy ex is a chef and I could not agree more with most of them! I was a waitress before having the girls so I know what its like as I often had to work very long days with only an hour between shifts, especially when I was waitressing in 2 different restaurants one during the day then another at night. It was madness, I'd love to go back to waitressing though! however I would never see my girls.
ReplyDeleteIt is such long days isn't it! Wow you must have been exhausted going from one to the other, but probably good that you had a change of scenery! I think it is must be one of the toughest industries to have a family in. x
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